Day Two::A Heart Divided

There were too many quotes to go with this little "blurb," so frankly I decided to take an usual stance and not include any of them. I thought instead I would make vague references to them. In the Bible it talks about how you cannot serve two masters, theologians seem to like to pick which two masters, but the simplistic point that will serve me here is that you cannot be divided within yourself. There's also quotes about how we must stay together or die apart, a house divided cannot stand - surely you see where all of this is going?

It's widely accepted, and agreed, that the surest way to disaster is to allow yourself to be pulled in too many different directions, and yet as human beings we are always trying to push that envelope. However, this generally agreed upon wisdom is exceptionally true when you are dealing with relationships and the human hearts. One of the biggest mistakes most people in dating is settling with the wrong person for too long. The problem is if you are investing too much of yourself in the wrong relationship - you will never find the right relationship.

You have to realize there are a lot of wonderful, attractive people in this world who just aren't going to be "the one" for you for any number of reasons, and you have to just accept that they aren't the one and move forward. It's easy to look at all the wonderful qualities someone has, or the things you have in common, or the chemistry you share. However, if they aren't meeting your needs then ultimately you are going to have to deal with the fact that you are either going to have to make sacrifices just to be with that person (which will ultimately cause you to resent them over time) or you will have to move on.

I'll even give you an example from my own life, just over a year ago I spent some time with a fascinating man. I found him very attractive, he was well read, well traveled, and we had the most wonderful conversations. We had shared interests ranging from greasy cheeseburgers to the Opera. So what's the problem? The concession I would have to make to have him in my life is that there would ALWAYS be other women hanging around, even if they were given the label of "just friends" (In truth they would be more like vultures circling an animal in the desert waiting for it to die more than they would be "friends.") they would always be there. Frankly, my self esteem is not strong enough to deal with other people in my relationships on a long-term basis so he had to go.

Sure, there is comfort in settling. The comfort of the known versus the discomfort of the unknown, but what you have to realize is that only in confronting the unknown can you find the relationship you are looking for.

If I had settled with that guy we would still be going to the Opera together and enjoying dinner at Jerry's Drive In, but I would've missed meeting Jeremy, who I not only find to have all the good qualities the other guy had BUT I'm more than enough woman for him, all by myself and that makes me feel happy and secure.