Day Six: Breaking Up is Hard to do

I once jokingly told a friend, if they wrote a song about it, you know it must be true. It was a joke, however breaking up is no joke, it's in a song, and now just to rub salt in the wound of pithy I'm going to quote one of the great minds of our time:

Breaking up is a natural evolution when you try to figure out what you want in life. If you're with an individual who isn't moving in the same direction and at the same rate that you are, it ain't going to work. ~Usher

Okay, maybe he's not a great mind of our time per say, but when I read this quote, I had all new respect for Usher. The fact is breaking up is a natural evolution, but it is also horrible, gut wrenching pain and not just for the person who is getting broken up with but for everyone in the scenario.

While I may not be the world's foremost love expert, but I'm all over this breaking up thing.

In my early days of dating, I didn't like breaking up. If I was unhappy I basically acted completely obnoxious until the guy I was dating broke up with me. However, as I got older (and hopefully more mature) and real feelings got involved, breaking up got to be a little more complicated.

It's complicated because if you like someone enough to date them, chances are you don't really want to hurt them. However, sometimes it's better to hurt someone up front than to let things get out of hand.

I was dating this really great guy - handsome, funny, gainfully employed, and on a schedule that was completely opposite to mine. I was waking up at 5:00am to go to work and he was coming home from his server job at 2:00am. We spent time off together, but after just a few short months it became increasingly clear that while in some ways we were a great couple, in too many ways, it just wasn't a good fit.

Calling Mr.Great Guy and saying that to him out loud was HORRIBLE, and even worse, he had a few of his own issues about being 30 and 'just a server" (his words not mine). He felt like I was putting him down, he yelled, and I sat there and took it until he hung up.

Even though our relationship had only lasted a few short months, I felt raw and beaten after we got off the phone. I'll admit that I even shed a few tears, after all breaking up is hard to do.

However, recently our paths crossed again. We sat at a bar and had a drink together, we have both moved on to people that are a better fit for us and we were both genuinely happy for the other one. After all, isn't that what really caring for someone is about?